The Fuzzy Chupacabra Hypothesis holds that this cryptid is most likely mammalian, not reptilian, not only for those reasons outlined in the Hominan Hypothesis, for the very simple reason that while we do have have no evidence of a blood drinking-reptile, nor any reptile in humanoid form, we do know of three species of blood-drinking mammals that see in the dark, with razor sharp teeth, Desmodus rotundus, Diphylla ecaudata, Diaemus youngi, otherwise known as infamous vampire bat.
Of course, bats aren’t the only mammals that drink blood. While many Homo sapiens enjoy eating blood in the form of sausages (black puddings and such), even more people enjoy drinking the nutritious fluid up in hearty broths, known as blood soups, of which there are at least a dozen.
But perhaps no people loves drinking blood more than the noble Maasai of the Rift Valley, herders whose who live quite happily on cow’s blood and milk. Delicious, if you ask me, and healthy too, according to very credible medical reports.
Thus, not only do we have proof of blood drinking mammals, but blood drinking hominans. So until some blood-drinking reptilian humanoid should cataloged, whether in high office or out in the wild, the most likely morphology for the beloved Chupacabra, based on the evidence we do have in hand at the present time, is to be hominoid of the family of the apes.
The wily and impressive Desmodus rotundus feeding on an unsuspecting and tasty cow. [Note the fuzzy hide of our gourmandizing friend, D. rotundus, otherwise known as the common vampire bat.]
Fan of David Icke I see.
I am very attracted to his ideas on reptoids—on a metaphoric level alone he deserves hid laurels. (If his hypotheses do turn out to be correct, I could definitely see a Chupacabra as some kind of ultra-intelligent lizard dog, possibly winged, with all the accompanying characteristics such as a lovely, spiny back. On occasion they would of course escape and go after livestock, which is why the sightings are relatively infrequent and there is no physical evidence, as it is either reclaimed, or the claimants compromised.)
However such ideas are beyond the scope of HomoHirsutus, which only claims to look at paleontological and biological data in the formation of it’s hypotheses, and within that stricture, the Fuzzy Chupacabra Hypothesis makes the least assumptions.
But if we do come across any novel reptiles, you can bet we will talk about it here!
I seem to recall that some South Americans who’ve encountered El Chupacabras regard it as some sort of escaped NASA project, because during Chupa flaps, NASA vans and employees have turned up…
It’s hard to figure why a space-agency would be breeding blood-sucking predators though, so we have to put this down as extremely unlikely. Now could I see the Defense Department doing something like this? Maybe. Investment Bankers and Hedge Fund Managers? Definitely.